A Reason to Live
by At the writer's block
Summary: Raven decides to revist Malchior. What can go wrong? Rated K for slight violence and disturbing mental images. Almost finished, has almost nothing to do with Malchior. PLEASE DON'T READ, I wrote this ages ago and I'm only keeping it up for contrast
1. Doubt

A semi-short series...bound to end badly. claps hand over mouth did I say that out loud? W/e

Disclaimer: Yo no paseo los Teen Titans. Or something like that. I'm usually asleep during Spanish class

That book was still there. Locked away in the chest, assumably forever. But locks (and promises) are broken. 'And besides,' Raven tried to reason with herself, 'If I don't face him now...how will I get over it?'

'That's the spirit!' Bravery shouted, but Raven ignored her. This was something she had to do, especially without her emotions telling her what to do. So that night, once she was sure everyone was safely downstairs, watching TV, she locked her door and went for the chest.

She had barely opened it when she heard his voice. It was no longer the kind, soothing voice she once knew, but a cold drawling voice. "Its about time."

Raven stared at the book, shock and fear in her eyes. Then she collected herself, and glared down at it. "You're lucky I'm even opening this chest."

She could hear the amusement in his voice, when he replied "Of course, I forgot. You don't need me. Tell me," he added smoothly, "Have you found someone else?"

"No." her voice shook noticeably. What had happened to being brave?

"Oh, you aren't gonna cry now, are you?" he said sarcastically. "Poor Raven. It wasn't even that hard to leave the book once I had you believing every word that came out of my mouth didn't I?" Raven shook her head wildly, but she had lost all conviction that what she believed was true. "Oh, don't lie. You needed me more than I needed you." he sneered.

Raven slammed the trunk shut, and locked it. Her vision had blurred suddenly, and she realized that she was crying. She sat in front of it, shaking for a few seconds, before she jumped up and ran out of the room. She ran down the hallway, unseeing, until she rammed directly into someone. She didn't even stop to apoligize before she got back up to running. Soon she was up pn the roof, looking over the edge. She had never realized how tall the tower was. "Maybe..." she whispered, pulling herself up on the edge. She swayed with the breeze for a second, and had just bent her knees when-

"Raven! NO!" She spun around in shock, but turned too fast, and she lost her balance.

In the (semi recent) words of Eminem, "Its another CLIFFHANGER!" haha!

Read and review everyone!


	2. Leaving

**Disclaimer: Own them I don't. Everyone but Medaline. So XP**

**DAMN that took a long time. But I'm here now, so READ IT.**

The woman was floating behind me with a kind smile on her face. She had silvery hair that reached past her waist, and ice blue eyes. She was wearing a long flowing white dress, with a neckline that reached her chin, and ended just above her feet. Catching me completely off guard, I managed to mumble, "Who are you? What are you?"

"Medaline, and a...being without definite form whose sole purpose is to watch over and guide you." She said all in one breath. "You could say I was your guardian angel, but then you'd say..."

"You haven't done a good job so far." I couldn't help the sarcasm.

She smiled again. "True, but I will step in should you do something drastic, such as jumping off a roof." then her face got serious. "But we have more important things to worry about now. I have a lot to teach you, and in about 15 seconds, Cyborg will try to revive you."

"What are you talking ab-ow!" Something jerked me backwards, so fast I flew through the windows, and I found myself floating in the common room. Medaline followed me, but as she got to my side, I was jerked backwards again. Now I was in the hallway. The final time, I found myself in the Infirmary. Starfire was standing, ashen faced against the wall, while Robin tried to comfort her. Beast Boy stared down at my still body with a mixed expression on his face. Cyborg was simultaneously, checking my heart rate and wielding a pair of paddles.

"Clear!" he shouted, though there really wasn't a need, and shocked me. I was pulled forward yet again, as Medaline entered.

"Do you want to stay here, or return to your body now?"

"I don't care, just DO SOMETHING!" I yelled as Cyborg shocked me again. She nodded slowly, then rushed over to my body and touched my forhead. The heart rate moniter stated beeping, and Cyborg dropped the paddles. We all (including Medaline and me) stared at my body for a few seconds, when Beast Boy spoke up.

"What now?"

"We wait," Robin said quietly. Starfire started to sob silently, and Robin led her out.

Cyoborg started to follow him, when he stopped and turned to Beast Boy. "You gonna be okay man?"

Beast Boy nodded, still in shock. "I'll be out in a sec." he said hoarsely. He waited until Cyborg had left the room, and turned back to face me. "I'm sorry." he whispered, kissing my forehead, and settled into the chair next to my bed, playing with my hair.  
A few seconds later, I realized that now I was crying, and I was sorry for what happened as well.


	3. Learning

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT, blah blah blah, etc. Just read it already.**

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Watching him, watching me, on the brink of tears, and I couldn't even comfort him. I stood helplessly aside, as Medaline gently took my hand. "We have to go."

"But...I..." I didn't want to leave him, not now!

"He'll deal. He has to. And besides," she adds icily, "Its easier for the living to forget the dead than for the dead to forget the living." she pulled me towards the window. "Lets go." And soon we were flying over Jump City. The pizzeria, the library, the bank, and soon the mountain where Slade's headquarters used to be. And there... "No way!" I gasped.

Terra was there. Just sitting on a ledge, staring at the city. A lump rose in my throut. "Is she...?"

"Yes. She's dead. She has been for some time, the poor thing. You see, she doesn't want to move on."

"Why?" I ask, incredulously(sp?).

"She doesn't want to believe that she's dead. She misses the Titans. The city and saving it. Every night like a party, with the Titans. Her best friends always sticking up for her, even when they know she was wrong. She always thinks about the end, and how she didn't get a chance to apologize to everyone."

"That's horrible."

"Its too bad. Anything is better than being dead, and not knowing it. Except living." she took one look at my face, and continued. "When I was alive, I didn't have the best life ever." she rolled up her sleeves, and I gasped again. Where it wasn't scarred, there were bruises. Then she pulled down the neck of her shirt. One, long gash had sliced it in half.

"H-how?" my voice shook.

"When my husband wasn't cutting my arms, he was hitting me. Then one night, he attacked me with a knife, and here I am."

"Oh my God..."

"So I've made you a believer?" she tries to joke, but I can't look at her. Her faced has hardened and she looks so much older now...


	4. Mistake

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Medaline…and this plot. Isn't it pretty?**

I couldn't look her in the eye, not after what she just showed me. I sort of stared at my own hands for a little bit, and tried to regulate my breathing. Ordinarily, I would have meditated, but I doubted that it would work now. Then, she tugged on my arm, not as gently as before, and merely said "Lets go."

"Where are we going?" I said, still a little dazed.

"Up. To the heavens. Whatever you want to call it." I tried to ask her again, to get a better answer, but she just shook her head and pulled me up to the clouds. My breathing became shallower and shallower as we went up, and my head started to spin. I tried to distract myself from it by asking her more questions. "Why do you do this, even after you're dead?" Why did I add that?

"I geuss you could say that I'm a little bitter." then she noticed my gasps of breath, coming quicker and quicker. "Hard to breathe?"

"Yes." I whispered. My fingernails were turning blue, and my feet and hands started to tingle. The clouds were thick and fast around us, and then I understood what she was doing. "No!" I gasped, and my eyes unfocused slightly.

"You were never meant to live," she hissed, finally letting go of my arm. "And you never understood how precious life is."

"What are-" gasp "-you talking-" gasp "-about?"

"You can't even see love for what it is." Her lip curled. "You were a mistake. You must die as I did."

"Wha-" but my lungs wouldn't take in anymore air. I closed my eyes and felt the air rush past my head, knowing that it would probably be painless, and passed out.

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Yeah, I take god-knows-how-much time to update, only to let you all down. I suck, don't I? (New chapters up later!)


	5. Regret

**Disclaimer: **All I own is Medaline (yay!)

**Author Notes: **Its not that I haven't felt like updating this guys, its just that I wrote this a while ago and I still can't belive I would write something so crappy…But anyway…

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I couldn't look her in the eye, not after what she just showed me. I sort of stared at my own hands for a little bit, and tried to regulate my breathing. Ordinarily, I would have meditated, but I doubted that it would work now. Then, she tugged on my arm, not as gently as before, and merely said "Lets go."

"Where are we going?" I said, still a little dazed.

"Up. To the heavens. Whatever you want to call it." I tried to ask her again, to get a better answer, but she just shook her head and pulled me up to the clouds. My breathing became more and more shallow as we went up, and my head started to spin. I tried to distract myself from it by asking her more questions. "Why do you do this, even after your dead?" Why did I add that?

"I geuss you could say that I'm a little bitter." then she noticed my gasps of breath, coming quicker and quicker. "Hard to breathe?"

"Yes." I whispered. My fingernails were turning blue, and my feet and hands started to tingle. The clouds were thick and fast around us, and then I understood what she was doing. "No!" I gasped, and my eyes unfocused slightly.

"You were never meant to live," she hissed, finally letting go of my arm. "And you never understood how precious life is."

"What are-" gasp "-you talking-" gasp "-about?"

"You can't even see love for what it is." Her lip curled. "You must die as I did."

"Wha-" but my lungs wouldn't take in anymore air. I closed my eyes and felt the air rush past my head, knowing that it would probably be painless, and passed out.

I was right. It didn't hurt. Me, anyway. I landed on the roof of the Tower, ironically (the bitch had probably planned it that way). Because right after that, I fell through more ceilings and floors, coming to a stop at the infirmiry.

Beast Boy had fallen asleep, resting his head next to my prone form. His hand was enclosed around mine, his head resting on my stomach. His soft breathing was almost in perfect time with the steady beep of the heart-rate moniter. Was this what she meant?

At that moment, I had never felt a stronger desire to wake up next to Beast Boy.

I tried to move back into my body, but just as I took a step-the hand Beast Boy wasn't holding began to twitch.

My body's eyes flickered, devoid of any life or sanity. Then it began to buck. A loud beeping filled the room, and Beast Boy jerked awake. My body spasmed, and his eyes widened. Cyborg and the others rushed in from the other room, as Beast Boy grabbed my hand "Please Raven, don't, don't do this to me!" he started to cry as the moniter began to flatline. Cyborg was still pulling out the paddles when he heard that one, long, dreadful note he had been dreading since Beast Boy brought me in that morning.

Starfire stood wide-eyed in shock, and began to shake, Robin pulled her away and out of the room, and she threw up as soon as the door had shut. Cyborg stood motionless, his back to Beast Boy (and my body) and slowly put the paddles away. He backed out of the room slowly, promising himself to give Beast Boy at least fifteen minute alone.

He kept on crying over my now still body. I ran over to him, to hold him, but my hands went right through him. A hole in the pit of my soul seemed to consume me. "All this time..." I whispered.

"Suck it up." I whirled around

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Raven." Medaline said nastily. "I've had to deal with worse, and you never really appreciated him anyway." I started to cry too.

'But I don't want to leave him, why would you let me leave him?"

"You were the one who presented me with the oppourtunity. Next time, don't go jumping off of towers." And with that, she melted into the wall.

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Dun dun dun! Yeah, I know, it sucks. One chapter left, I promise! 


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